Poke (So I Fainted. Again.)

It’s that time of year again where Misa-chan says “You need to have a blood test.”

Oh man, do I hate blood tests, so much so that that time of year again was really four months ago, but I’ve only just had the courage to go. So I tell my doctor that I’m requesting a cholesterol test, plus diabetes – Misa-chan says I eat too many sweets and he goes about preparing the referral.

“So you’re 43. Usually round your age we do the PSA test. Have you heard of this?”

“Yes, that’s the prostate cancer test.”

My friend James, his Dad passed away a month ago from prostate cancer, so I’m happy to be tested if it catches something early.

“Does this replace the, y’know, finger in the bum?”

“No. Think of it as like changing the oil in your car. You need to change the oil filter, too. Not doing the finger in the bum is like not changing the oil filter.”

Nice analogy, I s’pose. I’ve never changed the oil in my car before, I pay Toyota to do that, but I know what he means. I now have to do what every man fears. But on the plus side, it’s only one finger, not like he’s going to use two, or three, right? Right?

In Pain

So I had my last meal around 8:30pm, went to bed, woke up around 6:30am and raced off to the local pathologist first thing Friday morning. I let the nurse know I’ve fainted in the past, but not for a long time. “Would you like to lie down?” she asked. “I’ll be right,” I said, proudly, “I’ve sat for the past few blood test and have been alright.”

I wasn’t alright.

She put the needle in and we were chatting about something I don’t remember about, then it started to get dark. “I’m feeling a little woozy.”

“Take a few deep breaths, keep talking to me…”

… and I was gonnnne. It felt like a short nap because I could feel a dream was happening, then I slowly came to. I couldn’t think clear, and I couldn’t speak. I was trying to think, but it was nothing but confusion for a few moments. “How long was I out for?” “About 3 seconds.” “It felt like 10 minutes.” “Would you like to lie down?” “Yes, please.”

I went into the next room, the one with the bed and was on my back for five minutes. Also had a cup of water. Nice. Once I got the all clear five minutes later, I swiftly went for the exit, through a now-packed waiting room, into the car and across the street to Coles. I needed sugar, and invested two of my hard-earned in Cadbury’s finest. So yum.

I go back for results and the finger on Wednesday. Wish me luck! I’m staying optimistic, positive etc. because I know that if there’s something wrong, we’ve caught it very early and that means treatment is available. I’ve always aced cholesterol tests and diabetes checks, but the prostate cancer (PSA) test/check is new to me. I don’t wanna get too cocky, the last time I did that I fainted, but yeah, positivity. Not sure how often I need to have the PSA done, I’ll ask the doctor.